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It’s dis-empowering, because it’s not really her accomplishment.
It’s training her for a life of being content with gaining prestige from the accomplishments of others (like her potential future spouse), rather than her own achievements.
As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are. It’s our culture’s standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn’t it? I told her that I’d just written a book, and that I hoped she’d write one too one day. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we’d read it and talk about it. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? But I did change Maya’s perspective for at least that evening. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Bloom has written numerous popular and scholarly articles for the Los Angeles Times, Family Circle, the National Law Journal, CNN.com, the Daily Beast, and many more.
In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that fifteen to eighteen percent of girls under twelve now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and twenty-five percent of young American women would rather win America’s next top model than the Nobel Peace Prize. She currently lives in Los Angeles where she runs her law firm, The Bloom Firm.
Her first effort was to find some non-appearance related common ground to start the conversation.
Whether or not “looking good” is based on genetics or conscious choices the child made when selecting their outfit and grooming may be too fine a distinction for a five year old to make and they could easily parse it down to “I’m pretty” or “I’m not pretty.” (or handsome).
As a parent, we could help by introducing our child by name and an interest.
And you’re right about the dieting/weight issue, my nieces are 4 and 6 and both are troubled by this!
Alas, it was about girls and what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities. Here’s to changing the world, one little girl at a time.
” Purplicious was Maya’s pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word, about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black.
It’s surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I’m stubborn. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. From 2001-2009, Bloom hosted her own daily, live, national show on Court TV, and she has guest-hosted Larry King Live, The Early Show, and Showbiz Tonight.
Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. You’re just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. She has been featured on Oprah, Nightline, Today, Good Morning America, Rachael Ray, and many more, and she was a nightly panelist on The Insider throughout 2010.
Reply If a 15 year old dresses well; fine, acknowledge it, good for her, she probably had some say in the matter.