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A bit like Snapchat, the app timecaps your encounters, only letting you search for available and interested people near you for one hour.
Unlike Tinder, the app doesn’t force you to link to your Facebook or other social network presence, meaning internet evidence of your shameful hour of need is minimal.
Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.
Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.
The main one being that you’re probably a fucking eagle-eyed psychopath to use it in the first place.
So you’ve tracked down future lovers on the road, Facebook and on your phone, but what about 30,000 feet in the air?
Using the microphone and ‘accelerometer’ to determine an accurate score, the app claims “All you have to do is start the application, put your i Phone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have intercourse, it is as easy as that.
Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results.” Romantic.
They have to have Platewave too, but that’s hardly the only boundary to finding love with this app.
You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.
You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.
You might think you’re pretty good in bed, but if you’re someone who often wonders just how well you compare to others during sex, now you can check those crippling insecurities with Passion!
This app measures how well you perform during sex and gives you a rating from 0-10, ten being the highest, zero being very depressing.